So who is the Mom of this make-believe world?  Is it a 40 year old woman with three well-behaved children and a tidy house?  No, it’s a twenty-six year old smarty-pants still wet behind the ears!  If he can find a clean shirt to wear, it’s a miracle. His mother had to teach him how to make friends in the real world because he was such a genius he didn’t understand other people.  Now he has 3 million make-believe friends!  3 million make-believe friends equals about 3 friends in the real world.  So this smarty-pants still has only the 3 friends he went to Kindergarten with!

And this kid is now acting like my mother!

Here is what I am getting at:

Mom encourages me to make friends.  Then Mom decides who to suggest as friends for me.  Most I don't even know!  

Then, if I try to make too many friends with the actual people Mom suggested, it won’t let me.  It will actually stop me from making friends for 2 days while I learn my lesson.  This really happened to me.  This is a mean mommy.

Except, to spare my feelings, it won’t tell me if someone doesn’t like me and won’t be my friend or stops being my friend!  But I want to know why they won't be my friend!  If I am rejected I feel like a schlemiel.  But now I’m a bigger schlemiel because I just keep asking that person over and over to please be my friend until they won’t even let me ask anymore!  And I won’t even know it!  I think if I’m going to become a schlemiel, I have a right to know who did it to me!

 

She is not a good mom either because she doesn’t realize that I might forget who I wanted to be friends with, and if I do forget, I can’t find out!  She figures that if I can’t remember who I want to be friends with, they can’t be that important to me and I shouldn’t waste my time.

She is a mother who has no faith in me: she always shows me the ‘friends’ I  talk to the most, in case I forget who my best friends are and wind up hurting their feelings when I forget to invite them to my birthday party.

 

And then she encourages me to be nice to friends who don’t have many other friends.  She even encourages me to gently suggest to them that they can do better in the make-believe friend department if they tell a little bit more about themselves. 

 

Facebook Thinks It Is My Mother

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